Helping through the Pain
by smilelino
Summary: After the war Hermione left to find her parents. 4 years later no one has seen or heard from her. When a chance meeting happens, what explanation has she got and what has happened for her being so sad and emotional?
1. Chapter 1

R/HR

Helping through the Pain

_After the war Hermione left to find her parents. 4 years later no one has seen or heard from her. When a chance meeting happens, what explanation has she got and what makes her so sad? _

Hermione was walking down the busy street in New York. Happy that the rain has finally stopped, she took a stroll on her day off from her work as a librarian. Just passing 'Tiffanies' and admiring the nice jewels, she heard her name being called. Guessing it to be her neighbour or work colleagues she turned around and was faced with a familiar red haired from the past.

"George, Angelina!" she stammered shocked.

"Hermione. I can't believe it's you. Holy cow… You know how hard we were all looking for you and now we meet you by chance on our honeymoon trip." he mumbled while hugging Hermione.

"Honeymoon, you two?" Hermione asked after Angelina tried to hug her too.

"Yes, the Mrs couldn't ignore my charm anymore and accepted my proposal" George smirked while pulling his wife closer. "But enough of the chit chat, where have you been for the last 4 years Hermione? And more importantly why haven't you come back or at least contacted anyone?"

Trying to avoid Georges serious glare Hermione looked away "I am sorry but I am really in a hurry and have to continue on. Just let everyone know that I am doing fine and they shouldn't worry."

Looking swiftly at her two old friends, she said "it was nice seeing you again, but I really have to go. Congratulation on your wedding. Goodbye."

Walking quickly away but not getting too far with George getting hold of her wrist, whispering to her "not so quickly. Don't you think they are some peoples at the Burrow who deserve to know what happened to you?"

Looking down on his hold she pleaded "please George just let me go. You can tell them anything you want, just let me be."

"I am sorry Hermione. No can do, don't you think after everything that happened, that your friends want to hear from you and know what has happened to you and why you never contacted them?" Turning Hermione around to face him George spat in her face "don't you think that one of your best friend, my brother who happened to have been your boyfriend has a right to hear from you?"

Looking towards Angelina and hoping for understanding Hermione chocked "please let me go. I can't face it. I can't even think about it. I am sorry but I just can't."

Seeing Hermione nearly in tears the other woman asked "what happened to you Hermione? What's wrong? You can tell me. You used to be able to talk with Harry, Ginny or Ron about anything. You still can talk to them, they will understand if you give them a reason "

Tears rolling down her cheeks Hermione just shook her head. "don't make me relieve it all again" she chocked on her words.

"I am sorry Hermione. I don't know what happened to you. But I think Ron and Harry have a right to be given the truth. I can't just ignore the fact that we met you here while they have been searching for you." With not a further thought George grabbed Hermione and Angelina hands and apparated to his childhood home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for those people who took time to review it. Hope my writing is ok, since english is only my second language. **

Molly Weasley sat at one end of her big table looking at her growing family. Smiling to herself she looked at each of her kids and everyone else who was part of them.

Yes, they had endured tragedy with the death of her son Fred, but with time and the help and support of Arthur and her kids she managed to continue living. Fred was never forgotten but instead of focusing on the loss which anyhow no one could change or make it better, the family including herself started thinking of the good times with Fred. The pain was still there but pushed back, and the gratitude to have had him in their life's was pushed forward. They were able to think of him with smiles and even laughter instead of tears and sobs.

Looking straight ahead to the other end of the table she caught her dear husband Arthur winking at her. After so many years being married to each other she knew that he was thinking the same as she was while admiring their brood.

Bill and Fleur were trying to get their 2 year old daughter to eat with a spoon and not use her little fingers. Smiling to herself Molly knew that having grandchildren was a whole new experience which she and Arthur both enjoyed.

Next was Percy and his lovely wife Audrey who were expecting their first child in 5 months time. She was glad to see him settled, happy and again part of the family.

Talking with Audrey was Ginny, her only daughter. Beautiful and happy she was relaxed next to her fiancé Harry Potter who was as much a son to her and Arthur as all the other boys were.

Harry was seen laughing with Charlie and Ron. Sure Molly would have wanted to see Charlie married and starting a family, but seeing him happy with the single life he was leading, she couldn't complain.

Ron, however was a different case. Single and unhappy, but not by choice. It broke her heart to see her youngest son putting on a brave front of being content with his life, when he clearly wasn't. Thinking back to the time after the war, when yes they were all grieving for Fred, but Ron had his best friend Hermione to lean on for support. Hermione, Ron and Harry have been best friends for years. However there was always this attraction between Ron and Hermione. Even if it was the worst time possible, as a mother Molly was happy when she saw that her son and Hermione who was like her second daughter, got their act together and became a couple. It was heart-warming to see how attentive and sensitive Ron was towards Hermione while her love for him just showed in her face.

However special their relationship was, something happened. Hermione left to spend some time with her parents after she and Ron have found them and got their memory back. While Ron came back to help George with the shop, Hermione stayed behind in Australia with her parents, to make up for lost time. But with time Ron and Harry started getting concerned when no news, contacts or updates arrived from Hermione. Trying to get hold of her was a lost cause. One letter arrived after two years of her missing saying she is doing ok and for them to all forget about her. This caused a drama in her family. Ron with the help of Harry went looking for her all over again but nothing came out of it. Hermione didn't want to be found.

For Molly as a mother it was upsetting to see Ron struggling to go on knowing that his girlfriend was choosing to part from him and there was nothing he could do about it. If she would be honest, Molly would have to confess that she started getting angry at Hermione for treating Ron and everyone else who had showed her great love, with such disrespect. One just had to get over it and continue their life. However Ron couldn't do that easily. He couldn't think or even look at different girls, all he did was help George in the shop, do Auror training and be there for the family. His happiness was in the backseat, because he just couldn't imagine being happy with anyone else then Hermione.

Sighting to herself Molly pushed herself to think of happier times. The most recent event came in to her mind, the wedding of George and Angelina. Sure it was a surprise at the beginning to see Angelina next to George. But who could complain if she was the reason for George to be smiling again and making him happy after he was depressed for loosing his twin. Right at this moment the young couple were in America on their honeymoon.

Smiling to herself and thinking of her own honeymoon with Arthur, she looked towards the front door since there was a knock. Before anyone managed to get up and open it, George and Angelina burst in. Surprised to see them home a whole week early, the questions started coming from everyone. However within seconds the whole room quite down, after George pulled a scared Hermione forward. Everyone eyes shot straight to Ron who was white as a sheet staring at her in shock.

"Hermione?" Ron and Harry asked in disbelief.

Hermione tried to greet them but it was impossible, no words came through her lips.

Harry shot up and run towards his best friend, hugging her he chocked "Hermione I can't believe. You don't know how amazing it is to see you in one piece"

Holding on tight to Harry, Hermione looked over his shoulder towards the one person she was afraid to see. Ron was looking straight at her with so many emotions present in his eyes. The one which got her the most was the pain, pain which she was responsible for. If only he knew what had happened, his pain would be so much worse, was all Hermione could think about.

Harry let go of her while Ron took small steps toward her, she on the other hand was trying to create some space while walking back. "Don't. Please Ron, don't" Hermione whispered.

Seeing the unshed tears in her eyes, Ron who was aching to take her in his arms begged "Please Hermione, let me…" But before he could finish the sentence, Hermione had fainted.


	3. No Chapter, sorry !

I wanted to apologize for not updating this story in a long time.

Unfortunately I was admitted to hospital with Meningitis and had to stay there for nearly 2 weeks. Now 3 weeks after being back home I am still recovering and taking it easy, which is hard to do if you have a family with 4 kids.

However I miss writing this story, so I will soon continue, it might however take some time till it is ready to be posted.

Sorry again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Firstly i wanted to apologise for taking so long in updating. But as i wrote before i had a bad case of meningitis and was in hospital for nearly 2 weeks. Then it took me a few months to get my strength back and lastly to be able to put my imagination and thoughts in writing._

Standing next to the fireplace was a nervous and shocked Ron. He was observing all what was happening in his parents' living room. Looking towards the couch where an unconscious Hermione was being fussed over by his mother, Ginny, Angelina and Fleur. They were trying to slowly get his girlfriend or was it ex-girlfriend, to wake up. Not far from him, his father and Harry were asking George all kind of questions about Hermione and how she was found and her reaction to it all. He tried to listen to the conversation and understand what happened but he couldn't. Instead he was standing and trying to make sense of the last few minutes since Hermione walked in or rather was dragged back to his life. He couldn't get over the fact that Hermione seemed to be scared of him. She didn't want to be near him, even worse it seemed it was more than just not wanting but rather she couldn't even.

"Why are you standing all the way at the back?" Ron thoughts were interrupted by Charlie. "Go to her. Maybe it will help and she might want you." Ron shook his head "I am the last person she wants to see" Seeing Charlie waiting for him to explain himself, Ron continued "come on Charlie, you saw how she reacted to me. She was trying to get away when i got near her. And then when it got to much, she even fainted. For some reason Hermione doesn't want me near." "Don't take it personally Ron. She seemed distant and wanting to get away, since we found her" George told him, while joining them. "Not really a comfort this" Ron mumbled.

Harry meanwhile went to Hermione talking to her and trying to get her to wake up. Slowly Hermione opened her eyes while registering where she was. Trying to think how she got to the Burrow, she slowly remembered George and all the Weaslys with Harry. Thinking about her best friend she couldn't help to smile softly. Turning her head to look at Harry she saw her other best friend standing further away. Seeing Ron again reminded her of all the pain and she couldn't help her eyes watering again. She sat up, looking straight at the red haired. He was straightening himself as to expect any blows or reaction from her. She opened her mouth wanting to apologise or say anything but nothing came. Her mouth felt dry and her heart was beating so fast. Hermione felt someone giving her a glass of cold water in her hand. Looking to her left she saw Angelina passing her the drink. Nodding softly to thank George's new wife she took a few sip while trying to still her shaking hands. Hating to be the centre of attention and the quietness of everyone while watching her she got up slowly "sorry about all of that and thank you so much for helping. But I really need to go..."

Seeing Hermione still being shaky on her legs, Ron first reflex was to go and steady her. But before he had time to do anything she sat back down on the couch and took more of her drink. "You better stay here for a bit longer till you feel stronger" Ginny said. Shaking her head Hermione answered "I will be fine. Thanks for everything but i need to go, I am sorry" Harry stood up angrily looking down at her "why do you need to go? We have not seen you in years, and now you want to leave again without any explanation? I don't get it. Don't you think after everything we went through together, you Ron and me, that we deserve an answer, anything at all?" With teary eyes she looked up at Harry "I can't, i am sorry. I just can't. I wish i could tell you or..." looking at Ron now "or you. But it's ... it's to hard." catching Hermione's eyes Ron whispered "please Hermione". Getting nothing in return from her, Ron started getting angry. "i can't believe it. I just can't believe that you can be so cruel and just stand here in front of us, in front of me and just expect us to accept that you left us, left me without any explanation or reason. And now you are here and don't give a damn about any of us and just want to go back to your precious life away from us and from our past..."

Ron angry response was interrupted by a loud screech "Noooo" and the next thing he saw was Hermione crawling on the floor and crying away "where is it? Please god help me find it, please. I need it, where is it? Can't you help me to look for it" She screamed at everyone. Seeing Hermione in such a state and being on the floor Molly asked "what are you looking for?" "My locket. Please help me find my locket. It's my life" "Don't worry we will help you find it, won't we peoples" Ginny tried to calm her. Within a few minutes of everyone helping in the search, George jumped up holding the locket in his hand "found it!" Straight away Hermione was next to him, snatching the item away while mumbling "please be inside, i can't lose you again" Opening it, she breathed a sigh of relieve and kissed it.

"Who is that baby in your locket?" asked Ginny who was standing right behind Hermione staring at the locket.. Hermione quickly closed it. "n...no...no one. Its n... nothing " "don't lie. Don't you dare lie, i saw it its a baby who looked very similar to a Weasly with the hair." Ginny screamed while snatching the locket from the other girl. Opening it she held it up "Now you can't lie. Don't you think it's time for the truth" Looking at the locket herself Molly asked "whose baby is that Hermione?" "Mine. My girl" Hermione gave in while taking the locket back and trying to avoid Ron eyes who was suddenly standing in front of her. "Hermione. Please look at me" she did so staring at his questioning eyes. "Is it my baby? Do we have a daughter?"

With tears falling down she forgot about everyone else and just concentrated on this man, who was the father of her child "Yes. She was your daughter, b...ut but she died. I am so sorry Ron, she died when she was a few months old"

Hermione left a shocked Ron standing and run out.


	5. Chapter 5

The Burrow was on standstill. After Hermione dropping this disturbing news, no one knew what to say, think and how to react. Ron just stood there heart pounding, feeling dizzy and weak in his knees. He had to grab the nearest strong item which happened to be his big brother Bill who took him and sat him down.

Their mother broke the awkward silence asking "did Hermione just say that our Ronnie is a father?"

"Yes mum she did" answered George quietly.

Molly couldn't stop herself "and did she ... that... the baby is dea..."

Arthur silenced her with a nod and stepped towards his youngest son. "Ron? Son? Do you need anything? Should we go for a walk? Anything?"  
Ron just shook his head exhaling loudly and trying to process it all.

After a few minutes of silence he heard his best friend whisper. "I am going to see Hermione. I have to see how she is doing and coping herself"

"Wait Harry!" Ron stopped him knowing that he had to start reacting to it all, and the first step was Hermione "I need to see her myself. I need to hear her out first."

Understanding Ron, Harry went up to him and gave him a hug knowing that his two best friends will have one of their most difficult conversations with each other.

"Sure thing. I can see her sitting by the pond in the garden."

Ron straightened his back and walked out towards the mother of his child, the child he never had met or will ever have the chance to meet.

The minute the front door shut closed, Molly let out a sob. "Oh my. What has happened? Why Arthur? Why do they need to suffer so much?"

Arthur took his wife to the chair nearest to her and sat with her down "I don't know Molly. I don't know what to say or how to help them."

"I want to know why Hermione kept it a secret. Why didn't she tell Ron when she was expecting or when she had the baby? After all, as a father Ron had the right to know." Charlie wondered angrily.

"Did Hermione ever tell you something, Harry? Maybe before we lost contact with her" Ginny questioned him.

Answering her he said broken "No, nothing. And I wouldn't have kept such news to myself. I agree Ron deserved to know. But it hurts me for both of them"

"It's a tragedy for both of them but the worst part is, that Ron never got the chance to know his daughter and have a relationship with his girl. She was a selfish bitch in my opinion" Ginny blurted out.

"don't say that." Molly interrupted her daughter while addressing her whole family "yes it is a tragedy for Ronnie, but what about Hermione? She was a mother to that baby girl had memories and grown to love her, but lost her own flesh and blood. I know how that feels, I don't wish losing their child on anybody, no matter what has happened before. It's one of their most difficult times in both of their lives. They are both suffering for different reason and both of them need comfort and at least understanding. So please take it easy on Hermione too."

Arthur added to it. "I agree with Molly. It's up to Ron to find out why he never knew anything about all of this. It's up to your brother and not us. At the end of the day, doesn't matter who is suffering more, both of them lost equally. They both lost their child."

Meanwhile Ron was slowly walking towards the pond where Hermione was sitting by the tree. Leaning her back against it, she was holding the locket tightly in her hand. The nearer Ron got to her the more nervous he became. He didn't know what to say or even how to start the conversation.  
As he reached her he saw her face stained from the tears, just staring straight towards the water. Acknowledging his presence she moved a bit to the left to give him room to lean his back against the tree as well.

For the next few minutes both of them were silently staring at the pond. Ron felt her shivering a bit from the cold outside. Yes it was a beautiful day but it still had a chill to it. Seeing her without a coat he reminded himself that she was dragged to chilly England from a hot day in America. She was wearing a yellow sleeveless shirt and brown knee length skirt; both not warm enough for this weather.

Taking off his cardigan he passed it to her "Here take it. You must be cold dressed like that"

Turning her head to the right, she looked to him for the first time. "Thank you. But what about you? Won't you be cold yourself?"

"I am ok. I am dressed for this weather here, contrary to you."

Hermione snuggled herself into Ron's cardigan. She couldn't help herself, breathing in the smell coming from this garment, a smell which was so Ron. She felt her stomach tighten just thinking of long lost memories when it was most natural for her to be breathing in that particular smell. Thinking about the past made her realize that it was her duty to start the important talk she and Ron needed. However she didn't know how to start it off and what to say. So she tried it with actions instead.

Looking at the locket in her hand, she motioned to it and whispered "do you want to see her?"

Ron looked at the object in her hand and then back at Hermione trying to figure out if she was serious. Seeing nothing other then what she was offering, he took the necklace with the locket in his hand. With trembling hands he opened the delicate piece knowing that it was one of his most important first glances he will ever have. Opening his eyes he stared at the picture. Looking back at him was a smiling baby, with short curly and ginger hair and brown eyes. That little baby girl was so beautiful and cute and the way it seemed like she was smiling at him directly, he couldn't help but fall in love with that baby on the spot. That little angel was his daughter.

"What was her name?" he asked.

"Fran Weasley."

Ron looked to Hermione with a questioning look. "I was looking for a girl's name to honour Fred. And Fran was the most normal and similar one I came up with."

"Fran" Ron pronounced to himself. "Fran Weasley."

Looking back again at Hermione he wondered "so you called her Fran to honour Fred. My brother who I lost in the war? If that's true then why on earth didn't I know anything about her? Why didn't you tell me about Fran? About a baby you were carrying for 9 months then gave birth. Why didn't I know about her, about my daughter Fran who you called after Fred?" Ron was trying to stay as calm as possible, knowing that even if he had the right to, but to start now with a shouting match wouldn't help anyone.

Nodding her head she first begged Ron "I know you want to know everything and you sure do deserve to hear it all. But please Ron, let me do it in my own pace. It's difficult with loads of painful memories for me. I am asking you to not interupt me and let me tell you in my own way. I know I don't deserve to make any demands but otherwise I don't know how I can manage to get through it all again."

After seeing Ron agreeing to her request Hermione took a deep breath and started at the beginning.

"It all started after you left Australia to go back. As we have discussed back then, I would stay behind with my parents to try to make up for the lost few months. You might not believe me, but it was hard for me to be away from magic, Harry, your family and friends but most of all from you. Even with all the sadness and grieving we both experienced in the wake of the war, I haven't felt so close to anyone as I have with you in those days in Australia."

Hermione stopped to peak a glance at Ron and saw him unmoved staring at his shoes.

She continued her story "Mum and Dad started to trust me again which I was aiming for when I decided to stay behind. It took me a few weeks to eventually persuade them to move back to England and leave Australia. By that time it was around 2 months after you left. I then realized that I was pregnant with our child. I first kept this news to myself, needing time to get my head around it. I knew it wasn't the best of time for both of us to become parents since we just started looking forward to a future with no real danger and no complications. But I also knew that life is so precious. We have witnessed from the war how fragile life can be and how it can be taken away so easily. Therefore there was no doubt in my mind about not having the baby. After I stuck to my resolve I told my parents about the pregnancy which didn't go down quite well. However I managed to convince them that you and I could manage, if we would hold on to each other for that ride and with both of our parents help it could work out. And yes I did intend to tell you about the baby. I never ever thought of keeping it a secret. But it wasn't some news I could tell you with an owl. I needed to tell you face to face and for us to be together for it. I wanted to see your reaction and help you come to terms with it all. So I kept it from you knowing that in 3 weeks time I would be back in England. Back with you again, where I could tell you about becoming a father. I was counting the days for the next weeks till we would have arrived back in England. But two nights before we were due to leave, my parents and I decided to go out to dinner to one of their favourite restaurant."

Ron was waiting for Hermione to continue her story but realised that she stayed silent. Ron turned towards Hermione and saw her with fresh tears and crying softly. Placing his hand on her shoulder he gave her a nudge "Hermione?"

She looked him in the eyes, taking a deep breath and whispered "on the way we had a car accident. Both my parents died straight away."

Shocked, Ron turned himself around so that he was sitting facing her. Looking at her he said the only thing he was capable "Shit. I am so sorry Hermione."

Acknowledging his support she nodded. Hermione knew that Ron must be upset too, since he got on very well with her parents. He used to play chess with her father and make jokes with her mother the whole time when he was with them in Australia.

Passing her a tissue "Hermione, how did you survive? What happened to you?"

"The drunk driver hit the front of the car where my parents were sitting. I was sitting in the back and therefore it didn't hit me as much. I fell in a coma, with broken wrist and foot. Fortunately the baby managed to survive. I was told that I did start bleeding and the doctors were scared about a miscarriage but managed to stop it. For the next 3 months I was in coma while the doctors and nurses helped the pregnancy to go further. I woke up when I was about 6 months into my pregnancy. The worst moment was when I was told about the death of my parents. It was the worst grieve I ever had to endure, or so I thought. I started losing it, and got depressed. They kept me in hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy since we both were high risk. Needing you Ron by my side, I called Auror Ryan Hoyland to help me with that."

"The Auror who helped us locate your parents? The one who tried to flirt with you in front of me" Ron wondered surprised.

"Yes him. And I know Ron, you are right. But at that moment in hospital, alone without anyone, to have to go through a pregnancy alone and grieving, I called the only person I knew in Australia. And that was Ryan Hoyland. I asked him to send you my letter by owl or by any other method, as long as he would get you by my side. Next day he brought me a note back from you saying that you never intended to be such a young father and since I haven't kept in contact for the last few months, that you found a new love which you wouldn't give up for any circumstances."

"What the hell. I have never ever written such a note, never even received anything from him or you?" Ron interrupted perplexed.

"I know Ron, I know now. I found out about a year ago that he never has sent any of my letters to you, Harry or Ginny. Apparently he became obsessed with being the only one in my life. The letter I thought was from you was from him copying your writing. Even when I wrote to you again after the birth telling you that we had a daughter, he burned the letters."

Ron shot up angrily "What a bastard. And all the times you tried to tell me about our daughter, he was behind it. You want to tell me that this bastard from hell was the cause why I lost the chance to know my daughter. Because of him, him I missed out on Fran and her existence?"

Hermione got up too, standing teary eyed in front of Ron "I know Ron that you must hate him and so do I. More than you can imagine. But Ron, he was killed in one of his mission. While on his deathbed he told me the truth. I was so angry that even while he was dying in front of me I couldn't hold myself back slapping him. My anger towards him erased all the goodness and good times I have had with him. Ron the damage is done and I just want to forget that this evil person ever existed."

"Look Hermione I understand that you want to ignore him. But you do have to understand that for me it's not that easy. I just found out I had a daughter and even thought he is dead, he is the cause why I never knew Fran. It will take time for me to stop thinking about this bastard and what he has cost me"

Sitting down again Hermione asked "do you want me to continue or should we take a break?"

Knowing that it really seemed like a painful past few years for Hermione, Ron told himself to push his anger away and make it easier for her. So he sat down signalling her to continue.

"I was in hospital depressed and grieving for my parents but also grieving for us. It broke me apart thinking that after all you and I went through together, now when I needed you the most you were choosing to ignore and leave me alone. It hurt me, it really did Ron."

Even knowing that it wasn't his fault, Ron couldn't stand knowing that she really did need him there but was believed thinking that he abandoned her.

"As you can imagine being in such a state emotionally and after having been in a coma from the accident, didn't help the pregnancy either. Our girl was born prematurely when I was about 7 months pregnant. She was tiny and had a weak heart therefore needed to stay in hospital for the next 10 weeks. The doctors were amazing with her and helped her growing up to this beautiful baby. However I am telling you, if it wouldn't have been for the reason of her having to stay in hospital and later for having the weekly checkups, I would have taken her to the Burrow and kicked your ass to be a father to that baby. But I really didn't want to be far away from the doctors and hospital who knew her and who were amazing whenever we needed them. Instead I told Ryan to send you again my letter. But as we know he never did."

Hermione saw Ron tightening his fists and knew he was holding back to not lash out about Ryan again. So she continued quickly.

"After those weeks in hospital, I was allowed to take her home. But where was my home? It was the first time since the accident I was able to leave the hospital. But I had nowhere to go. My parents flat was sold since it was our intention to leave for England. At the end, one nurse who I became friends with let Fran and I stay with her. I didn't go out much since I wanted to be home with our little girl. To make some money my friend Nikki the nurse brought me paperwork from hospital which I would do bookkeeping on them."

"Did you ever do magic again?" Ron wondered.

"Not really. As you can imagine in hospital I couldn't and even though when I told Nikki about me being who I am, I just didn't have it in me to do any magic. After what has happened the last 4 years, it broke me and I never felt like wanting to do magic or have anything to do with it."

"I think I can understand that." Ron said.

"By now Fran was about 6 months old. She was the most precious baby ever. Smiling away and being always happy. She just was ... an angel."

Hermione had to stop. She didn't know how to continue her story. Now was the hardest part. She never ever has spoken about it to anyone and she didn't know how she would be able to talk about it. Her tears started falling again, thinking about those memories which were one big nightmare.  
Hermione felt Ron shifting next to her and putting something in her hands. He had given her the locket back. Looking at that sweet little face made her sob even more. She couldn't do it. She couldn't go through those days again.

Turning her wet face towards Ron she cried "I can't Ron. I am so sorry I can't go through it again. All I can tell you is that I woke up one morning and saw her in bed not breathing anymore. They blamed it on her heart condition and the rough pregnancy we had. But please Ron don't make me relive those moments and details again."

Looking him in the eyes she begged. "Please Ron. I know you want to know and deserve it, but I really can't go back there again. Maybe, maybe I can give you my memories and if you want to you can go through them yourself?"

Seeing Hermione so distressed and in pain he agreed. "Ok. We will do it your way. But if I have any questions after going through those memories, you will answer them for me. Is that a deal?"

"Thanks for being so understanding. I am sorry but it's just so damn hard. I keep on relieving this moment when I saw her lying there not ... not ...breathing and ..."

She broke down again but felt herself being pulled into a hug. She cried on Ron's chest while he himself had tears gathering in his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

A few minutes have passed, since Hermione broke down in Ron's arms. Crying she kept on relieving those last moments she had shared with her baby girl Fran. After some time she managed to calm herself down a bit. Forcing herself to leave the safety of Ron's arms, she sat up wiping her tears away. Looking up at Ron she saw that his eyes were moist too. Feeling horrible to have broken down in front of him she apologized.

"I am sorry Ron for crying on you like that. I know it was the last thing you wanted or needed after what I put you trough."

"Hey I understand, you are allowed to be upset after having to relieve the past. I feel really bad to make you go through those hard times again, but I really need to understand your decisions and hear all what I have missed and why."

Hermione nodded "Thank you for being so understanding. You are right you deserved to hear it all. I hope you are ok with going through my memories of Fran's ...of her... her... de... Death by yourself. I just don't know how I can talk about it." She posed for a moment but then continued "Every time I think of her, I see her lying there. I am trying so hard to remember the good and fun times I had with her, but I keep on relieving the last time I saw her. And it kills me. It rips out my heart. I really don't think I could describe it. I am so sorry, Ron"

Looking at her, Ron said "We have a deal. I go through them myself but if I have any questions you will answer them for me later. I will be ok doing it that way. However, would you mind if Harry joins me. I think it would help me having someone with me, and I think you and I are both most comfortable, for it to be Harry?."

Nodding Hermione agreed. Ron got up "come Hermione, lets go inside. You can have a rest in one of the rooms. I sort of will explain the basic to my family. You just try to relax." looking directly at her now "but please stay at the Burrow till I get all my answers at least. I know it might be uncomfortable for you back here again, but please don't try to leave. This is something we should both work through together"

"I promise you Ron I will stay till you go through my memories and all the questions you might have. But I can't promise you to stay after that. I need to get back to my life. My life with Fran is not here."

Knowing that he couldn't ask for more, he nodded in agreement.

After Ron helped Hermione to settle in his bedroom, he went back down to his waiting family. "Mum would you mind to prepare a tray with tea and some biscuits, I could take up to Hermione soon."

"Sure Ronnie, but what ..." Molly tried asking the obvious question.

Ron sat down, knowing that his family deserved to know the truth too.

"Look I tell all of you the short version. I think it is up to Hermione to decide who and which details she wants to tell."

He took a sip of his drink and started the story "Hermione found out she was pregnant after I left her with her parents in Australia. Wanting to tell me the news in person she waited a few weeks while her parents got ready to move back to England. However before they managed to leave they all were involved in a car accident where both her parents died straight away."

Upon hearing this, everyone gasped and Harry sat down next to Ron who continued. "Hermione fell in a coma but managed to keep being pregnant. However when she woke up and gave birth prematurely, she and the baby weren't in a state to leave the hospital. Therefore she asked Auror Hoyland to let me know about her situation and asking me to come to her side" clenching his fist and twitching his mouth in anger Ron spat out "however this son of a bitch did none of it. No this so called human being wanted Hermione for himself and just ignored her requests. Worse even, he showed her a note I supposedly wrote to her, telling her I would want nothing to do with her or the baby."

"what a slimming bastard" Molly muttered in between everyone's angry response to that man doing.

Ron ignored it all and continued "This he kept going on with all Hermione's other attempt to get me to come to her, who had to stay in hospital with the baby longer. When she was able to go home he left for a mission. At that time she lost her. She lost our daughter. One morning she just didn't wake up anymore, there was no fault or explanation. Just gone..." Breathing in, he mumbled "my daughter gone. Never got to meet her or even call her Fran"

"Fran? Was her name Fran?" asked Ginny

Nodding Ron answered "yes Fran. She wanted something similar to Fred and came up with this name."

"wow, thank you. It's nice for Fred to be remembered that way." George said quietly.

"don't thank me, thank Hermione. Anyway after her ordeal, Hoyland came back injured from his mission. On his deathbed he came clean to Hermione. But by that time it was to late, Fran was gone. Hermione couldn't come back here and go through it all again. Until today that is." looking at his family he begged "so please give her some slack. If I can take it so can you all. I don't need her leaving or closing up because of some comments or actions from you. She will let me or better say..." Turning to Harry and asking with his eyes "us two, use her memories for us to see the last moment of my daughter life."

Understanding Ron's unspoken question, Harry said "whenever you and Hermione are ready, I will be there." Ron gave him a small grateful smile.

Taking the tray she had prepared, Molly got up and started for the stairs when Ron stopped her "please mum, don't go up to her. I just asked not to make our situation worse or more difficult. I am not sure how much more Hermione can take with everything going on."

Giving her son a quick hug the matriarch responded "don't worry Ron. I don't intend to do anything, than being there for her. You know as a fellow mother who lost a child." with a sad smile she went up.

Meanwhile Hermione was sitting on Ron's bed leaning her head against the wall. After some time she opened her eyes and looked around. Not much has changed, still a lot of colour orange. The room still had the same smell, the one she smelled before while sitting outside in the garden next to the owner, Ron. Ron, thinking about him caused her pain because of Fran but at the same time it was comforting to share the pain with him.

There was a knock at the door, hoping for it to be only Ron or Harry she said "yes come in".

Surprised Hermione realized it was Ron's mother coming in the room with a tray "here is some tea and biscuits. You should eat some"

Sitting down next to her, Molly faced Hermione "I am so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you and taken you in my arms when you lost your parents or struggled with your pregnancy and birth. I wish I could have hugged you and being a shoulder to cry on when you lost your child." With tears now in her own eyes Molly took Hermione's teary face in her hands and whispered "as a mother myself who lost her son too, I just want to hold you forever and take your pain away. I know how hard it is, and how much you hurting."

Looking in Molly's eyes and seeing the comfort she was offering, Hermione broke down crying and let herself be hugged by her second mother. "I just want the pain to go away. It breaks me every time I think of what I lost. I want to feel better, but then again I feel bad for wanting to get away from this pain. She was my daughter and I lost her, so I should be feeling the pain and not be selfish and get away from that feeling."

Molly let go of Hermione and looked at her "My dear, just because you want to stop this pain, doesn't make you a bad mother or that you are forgetting your daughter. No no no, it is ok to want to think of your lost child and not feel like you can't breathe anymore. I understand, that you want to remember her and feel normal and happy that you have had her. And you will. With time your pain will get less. You will never forget your child, but with time and support you will start thinking of her and smile. You will come at a stage where you will be grateful for having had her in your life. You will remember the times you shared with her and you will be happy to have had that. You will smile thinking of her instead of feeling that pain. And that is ok and right and not something you should feel ashamed about."

"I am not at that stage yet." Hermione whispered tearful.

"you will get there. I promise you. It takes time and you have to accept the support and all the love you are being given." Molly smiled softly at her and stood up. "I think you should try to sleep and relax a bit. It was an emotional day for you." By the door she asked " Do you need anything? I can bring you up anything you want or maybe anyone you want to talk to or see?"

"I am fine. I don't need anything really, I will try to have a bit of a sleep. And thank you again for... for everything you said before"

Molly left that girl and went downstairs again. The minute Ron saw her, he got up and asked terrified "Is she ok? What happened?"

"don't worry, we just talked. Ron she is in pain and hurting and that will take a long time to heal. So don't push her."

"But Mum, Ron deserves to know..." Ginny started.

"Ginny, I know that Ron deserves to know everything. And he will. I am not taking Hermione's side, Ron is my son. But kids you all don't know what it is like to lose a child. I and your Dad do know, and so does now Hermione and unfortunately your brother Ron. All I am telling you Ron, let her come to you in her own time. You get more from her if you don't push her to hard. I think you should wait for the memories till tomorrow at least. It has been a long and emotional afternoon for both of you."

"you might be right mum. I wait till tomorrow for her memories." Ron agreed.


End file.
